Friday, January 18, 2013

Wilson’s Final Days – Stage 1 (Section 3)

continued from Stage 1 (Section 2)
Should I look for my obituary?

Am I going to cry when Wilson dies?...hopefully I can find a private place if I do.

Is my real father looking for me?

Did my military family upbringing hurt me more than help?

Did my past make me want to heal others as a doctor to disguise my own pain?

House never utters these thoughts out loud. In his head, they blend into the occasional evidence that he contains real emotions and vulnerability.

Wilson and House are having breakfast at their latest hotel – a lavish building full of amenities that the duo has been experiencing after a very quiet night of rest.

“Wilson,” says House. “I appreciate your friendship.”

Wilson smiles as House collects himself a bit.

“My thought process has been very... (grimacing a bit) positive these past few days.”

“But?” says Wilson.

“But nothing,” says House.

They both stare and smile at each other while eating their eggs benedict.

“It’s great to finally experience the real you,” says Wilson.

House cocks his head sideways. “Yet you’re still here,” House says sarcastically.

“Where else am I going to be?” says Wilson with a smile at the end, which eventually turns into a quiet cry as he covers his eyes with the sideways slap of his hand.

 House struggles out of his comfortable chair to carefully stand Wilson up and hold him.

“It sucks. I thought I was ready to die… I’m not,” says Wilson

House lets go as Wilson stammers back to his chair to sit down.

House moves back to his chair, but asks Wilson if he needs anything before sitting down.

“No.” says Wilson.

House is still standing and takes a deep sigh, which draws Wilson’s attention…as well as everyone in the restaurant.

“Crying is equated with weakness and vulnerability. Anger is equated with strength...”, says House.

Wilson’s face starts to ebb with that familiar expression.

“…that’s all horseshit.” says House. “Cry as much as you want, especially in front of me…Me…who bought into that social lie that strong, successful people and geniuses display anger constantly or occasionally tone it down with sarcasm, insults and metaphors.”

Wilson’s face expression turns to revealing awe.

“I never liked to play by the rules no matter who made them. I was never worried about punishment. I had already been punished enough. What more could they do to me?” House says.

“My life has awakened taking care of you. At first, my plan began as a competition where I always had to be smarter and one step ahead of everyone else to protect you. The GPS. The MedjetAssist. The pocket alarm in case we get separated,” says House. “I trust my instincts. I’m not even sure why I‘m saying this now. I planned for as much as I could without neglecting myself.”

Wilson’s jaw drops.

“And I’m not going to be alone. I’m meeting Cate. I can’t stop being a doctor. This is the only place left I can do it…unless I want to leave this continent.”

Dr. Cate Milton, an Alaskan resident who worked an important case with House using video conferencing, knows House. She knew him enough to joke about his drinking four years ago. She knows Wilson too. She knows what a great friend he is to House.

House now looks around to gauge the crowd’s reaction as the never ending danger of drawing attention to himself sinks in a little. Surprisingly only a few onlookers from the faraway bar are looking in his direction. Suddenly nearby patrons turn their chairs to shake House’s hand and softly pat Wilson’s back then gracefully return to their activities.

A relieved, openly happy Wilson stares at House. “I’m glad you told me,” Wilson says.

House trusts Wilson more than anyone…besides himself. He trusted Wilson to show him that weakness and vulnerability is acceptable…even out of the profession work setting at the hospital, which is not a variable anymore.

“Let go of yourself. You’ve done it in life. Now do it in your mind. You know suicide wasn’t the answer,” House tells himself.

continued on Stage 2 (Section 1)

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